Battle to Come
by Guardian of knowledge
Summary: Companionship causes worry. Worry grows to desperation. Desperation drives Roy Mustang to, for once, act from his heart without consulting his mind, for better or for worse. Riza Hawkeye x Roy Mustang, but not developed further than a kiss. Post-FMA Brotherhood. One-shot.
Breaths.

Breaths, clanks and the scurrying of feet made up the entirety of the noise that was shifting between the cold metal walls as alchemists and infantry alike prepared for battle in the numbing cold. In the eyes of the enlisted of Amestris was a determination burning like wildfire, warming them in the cold Briggs night. Their lips were pressed together in grim silence. Not even murmurs were heard between the preparing soldiers as they did the work everyone but the fearless wished they never had to do: take their civilian clothing off and replacing it with uniforms of icy white, helping brothers and sisters strap on armor and holsters, tightening those holsters against their bodies and placing heavy firearms inside. One after one they completed their transformations into the fearless soldiers they may or may not be. Riza Hawkeye did not speak to her comrades either, although not for the same reason the rest of them did, even if the situation was quite dire...

The revelation of homonculi and the plots they had run through the ranks of the Amestrian army had been received with fear by the citizens, which was not unexpected. Panic had not been far after the night of the big battle, and only the direct nomination of another Führer President had prevented further turmoil from breaking out. Madame Bradley retreated into a life away from the public eye to raise the newborn Selim, and new men and women were appointed to the high posts that allies of King Bradley had once occupied. As for Riza Hawkeye's allies, Havoc had regained his ability to walk, Roy Mustang had regained his vision, and they had been able to reunite at Central and work together once again.

Now, however, they were not needed at Central. Although Roy had passed up on the title Führer President for now, he was still one of the most powerful state alchemists in the country, and as soon as he had been summoned to Briggs his teammates had tagged along. The rumors of the inner turmoil of Amestris had spread to enemy lands, and only two weeks ago allied spies had come with word that the Drachman army had rebuild its army under the son of the late general of the last attack to march on Amestris once more. Every capable alchemist and soldier was expected at Briggs to make up for the men lost during the day of the solar eclipse...

"With all that's happened, this just can't end well…"

It was the first few words that had been spoken to Riza since her meeting with the General Roy Mustang. Of all the people likely to show their despair in this moment, she hadn't expected Havoc to be one of them. In the team of five supporting Mustang, he had always been the most optimistic, yet now he was sitting with his head in his hands and looking as grim as the rest. Hawkeye didn't know what to respond. She had no way of either affirming or opposing his point of view, as scouts and spies had not yet reported the enemy army's numbers. Then again, she could see how he would be the one in their group with the most to lose: he had just regained his ability to walk and he was engaged to a beautiful woman with whom he expected a baby. She knew that it was all the tougher to face the possibility of loss when you had already lost and regained so much...

"Fuck it, no point in taking guesses!" he murmured, leaning forward and dragging a hand through his hair before turning to Riza and giving her a wide, trademark smile. She knew he hadn't shook the feeling of despair, but she couldn't help but to repay the smile.

"Do you think Mustang is doing the right thing, coming up here to fight the Drachman army in the freezing cold? He's the Flame Alchemist: if the weather heats up, snow's gonna turn into rain and he'll be useless."  
Riza felt her jaws clench. She hadn't heard where or from who the whisper she had snapped up came from, but it filled her with anger. Her lips formed a horizontal line, cutting her face in two.  
Roy Mustang was not a useless man! Even without his alchemy he was a formidable soldier and a master of firearms. Drachmian soldiers would not stand a chance of even touching him, and even if they did, she would be the woman to make sure it'd be the last thing they ever did…

She would never distrust Roy Mustang.  
Never!

The first thing that hit her was the smell of smoke.

Roy Mustang, as the high-ranking man he was, had been given a room of his own in Briggs as they waited for news. She had been summoned to this office of sorts. It was two hours ago, while everyone else had been eating lunch, if she remembered correctly.

Roy Mustang sat behind his desk, a cigarette between the fingers of his left hand while the thumb of his right slowly flipped through a bundle of documents on his table. Seeing as an addiction to nicotine was neither easy to upkeep nor particularly good for a man of rank, he only smoked when he was either very, very stressed, or when Havoc was around. Damn that man for making him pick up such a nauseating addiction!

"You called for me, general." Riza uttered, walking through the door and closing it behind her to spare the guards outside from the smoke. His new title still rolled oddly off her tongue after years of calling him colonel. Although he looked up to meet her gaze, she didn't seem uplifted nor relaxed by her presence as he would normally.

Roy pulled a deep drag of smoke into his lungs and with a sigh let it escape from his lips. He put the cigarette out in the tray on his desk.

"Yes, so I did." he replied, his voice holding none the less authority and credence despite the anxiety within him that was so obvious to her. He leaned back in his chair, gesturing to the chair next to the chest of drawers standing against the wall to his left.

"Pull up a seat."

Riza acquiesced and grabbed the chair by the back, placing it on the opposite side of the desk and having a seat. Anxiously her eyes remained on his. She was his right hand, his shieldmaiden, his Queen as he had once said, yet whenever they were in each other's company while not working together she often felt uneasy. This was no exception, and she couldn't be more eager to know what was on his mind.

"Lieutenant…."

His eyes finally met hers, and silence once again fell as they looked at each other. Riza felt a chill go down her spine. His ebenholtz eyes were piercing...

"How do you feel about the battle to come?"

Riza didn't really expect Roy to speak to her in a personal way, and when he asked her opinion she was surprised. Her face twisted in a frown, and she understood her answer would probably be as good as anyone's.

"The enemy is powerful, the peace is delicate and the men are anxious. This battle won't be easy, but this is a lesser evil compared to the Homonculi. This threat is physical, personal, and within the boundaries of common belief. Better than facing powers we have never encountered before." She answered, her back straightening and her gaze determined.  
"I have no doubt we'll come out of this victorious!"

Roy's expression remained unchanged throughout, his lips only slightly parted to allow him to breathe. His gaze was aimed at Riza, yet she didn't feel like he actually saw her. When she had remained quiet for a second, he sighed and broke it.

"Heavy casualties will be immense in almost every scenario. Olivier Armstrong will lose even more of her men, and once again I'm sending Havoc and the rest of you into a battle that could likely be your last…"

The guilt in Roy's voice filled Riza with desperation.

"Casualties are inevitable! Hundreds, thousands even, of good men and women died in the Ishbalan War, in the massacres of the Homonculi, and even on the day of the final battle…"  
"I haven't seen you care this deeply about casualties before..."

Her voice was pleading; pleading for the determination and unyielding force that consistently was in him to return. His tired eyes looked away, did not meet hers, and he stood up slowly from the chair opposite hers.

"Yes. Casualties are inevitable…" he replied.

"However, we must carefully choose who or what is worth dying for, and exactly who we are willing to risk to assure victory." he added in a calculating tone. The hand that had previously been occupied with the cigarette now shifted to the stack of papers and pushed them to Riza's side of the desk. By just looking at the document on top she knew it was official.

"What is this, general?" She demanded. Her eyes followed the rows upon rows of letters. The words seemed to form a bequest, orders, someone's last wishes.

"I was ready to die in the battle to defeat King Bradley, and I'm just as ready to die now. If my sacrifice would prove necessary, these documents will inform the Führer President that you will take my place as chief of the Eastern Headquarters. On the sheet below that one is a personal recommendation from me to Grumman. If he is dull enough not to realize the potential of his granddaughter on his own, that document should prove more than worthy to establish your position as next in line for Führer President in my stead."

Just the calm, collected way he made his statement filled her with anger. Just the he had the guts to confess this, right in front of her, right now! Her wide eyes filled with tears as she stood forcefully from her chair, knocking it over behind her.

"I won't accept this!" She yelled. A moment of shocked, breathless silence passed between them. Riza could feel Roy's pitch black gaze dive into hers, and with clenched jaws and resolute expression she shook her head.

"I wouldn't accept it. Not ever." she stated calmly. The surprise on Roy's face was replaced with a set jaw and a frown.

"I called you here to order you to stay in safety here at Briggs, to not partake in this battle, lieutenant."

"That day in Ishbal. The day you burried an orphan in the dirt… I saw with my own two eyes what war had done to you. The pain that caused me felt more real than the pain from any wound I've received in battle. Losing my vision two years ago when returning from the Gate of Truth was not devastating because I would lose ability to ever climb the ranks; it was devastating because I could see your hopeless eyes in the darkness, and the knowledge of never being able to extinguish that hopelessness taunted me. Ripped me apart…"

On the other side of his desk, Riza stood motionless. Her shoulders slouched, arms at her side, he could see she was quivering.  
"They say that the best leaders are the unwilling ones. The ones that don't strive for power over others. Your denial just proves how much you could do for Amestris, in truth far more than I could ever achieve." Roy said.  
Riza couldn't believe what Roy had just expressed: that he was not the most deserving of the title Führer President. This was all he had ever wanted for the past 15 years! She no longer knew what to say or what to do. This wasn't Roy, it couldn't be…  
His army boots clanked against the solid metal floor as he rounded the desk and stood before her.

"General, this is not self-insight, this is madness! After all you did to defeat King Bradley, I wouldn't dream of taking your place." She replied, never breaking the eye contact they had now established. Their eyes were locked in stalemate, both of them believing that with their steadfast gaze, they could convince the other to back down: to give in and to at least acquiesce to the other's plans.

"I will fight in this battle by your side or I will die trying." she said with finality, but she knew well Roy would not have someone disobeying his orders. Not even her.

"Hand over your guns, lieutenant." Roy stated calmly. Her shock was immediate; Roy Mustang knew better than most that her guns were one of, if not the one, personal belonging she would never give up. They had served her since Ishbal, through the war on the Homonculi, and she would not let them out of her reach now. She shook her head at the hands he reached out and opened to her.

"Lieutenant, that's an order!" he demanded. This time he had raised his voice. He honestly believed that taking her handguns would stop her from fighting the Drachmans?! She did not let the hint of desperation behind his anger go unnoticed.

"I will not stand behind our lines and watch our unit die! Roy, you are a fool and a coward for thinking you can prevent me from joining this battle-" she growled, tears finally leaving her eyes.

"-and I would rather die than let you believe I can replace you!"

It only took a split second. A split second for Roy to grab her by the shoulders, slam her against the wall and crash his lips into hers.

His kiss was like his very person: definite, confident and with the force of wildfire. The surprise from his use of physical force made her try to push him away, but she found his hands were now on her wrists, nailing them to the wall behind her. The tears she had shed continued their journey down her face, but her body was no longer ready for offence and fighting against what she could not allow to happen. Her tense muscles relaxed. Her eyes drifted closed.

She had been forced into submission under his stature, but he didn't intimidate her. She trusted him too much to be frightened by him.

His grip on her loosened and he came closer. His right hand was soon in her heir, pressing the clip she always used to keep it up until it burst open and his slender fingers found themselves in her locks. His kiss never lost its force and desperation, no matter how his lips moved and caressed hers, and it didn't occur to her how long it lasted until he pulled away.

"I lost Hughes…" he whispered, his voice breathless and full of pain.  
"I almost lost Havoc…"  
"When I saw them cut your throat, I thought I'd lost you too…"  
His lips brushed against hers as he spoke.

"I can't lose you too… Not you."

Both of them opened their eyes, letting them lock again. This was no stalemate, however. What they had just shared had leveled both their heads, and there was no other way they could go on without finding middle ground.

"I can't force you out of this fight... and I can't stop you from dying either." he sighed, his hands leaving her skin and his face feeling miles away as he took a step back and returned to his desk. The previous trust and warmth was replaced with confusion and cold. Roy leaned himself on both hands against the desk, still standing. Letting his emotions get the best of him was easy, at least when it was anger. When he now had tried to express his pain, his fear and his desperation, he found himself with the inability to even look her in the eyes: the woman he could not lose.

One of his hands left the desk and he touched his face, realizing he hadn't breathed for several moments. It took all his strength and dignity not to break from the fact that he had forced his feelings upon her, without knowing at all if she had the capacity or will to return them.

But he was Brigadier General Roy Mustang. He was a leader, a man of ranks, and he could not let fear for one woman's rejection and sacrifice be enough to break him.

Roy summoned authority to his voice.

"Just… don't die." he uttered with the same strength he would issue an order. He could feel Riza's eyes were fixed on him and somehow, without looking, he could feel her nod.

"You are dismissed, lieutenant."


End file.
